为什么？WHY?

Recently......
I feel confuse and lost,
some where in the middle of the journey.

Most of the things,
no matter big or small issues,
I realised it's difficult to handle.
I did try not to give up easily,
but still I became stubborn and weak.

Looking at my face,
everything seems fine like the sea without wind.
But deep inside my heart,
there's fire burning like the valcano.
Trying to learn how to give and take,
but it's still the hard way to execute.

Getting more and more hating myself,
always just following the ordinary thought and paths.
Never think of going beyond the ordinary,
which just following my heart.
I'm loosing my strength to lift up myself,
as my faith is getting weak and disappearing.

Wishing my mental power will be strong enough,
to force my inner strength to become brighter.
I need the determination and ethusiasm,
to explore and survive in the journey of life.
I hope there will be the answer......

Kenz & Helena's Wedding Dinner

Last night, I attended a big sister's wedding dinner and bless them to get happiness together always. This invisible "red boom" was received few days back. It's our big sister, Helena's BIG DAY. The biggest day in life finally come for her and Kenz. Although it was short notice, but thinking of the gathering chance we have for all the MMU CyberDancers, I grabbed the chance to be there.

It's understood the dinner would start late as expected and we reached there early, we took the chance to Hi Hi......How How......Hee Hee......Haa Haa...... non-stop chitchat once met up. Meanwhile there also had slides presentation about Kenz & Helena. Oh! what an amazing couple.

Once the Emcee (Ming Yenn-san) made the announcement, the Dishes Presentation started and we all were like the hungry ghosts started to eat our first dish. During the dinner, there were a few dance performances. Not only from Helena's ballet school, we CyberDance also have duet dance from Saw Hua & Bear Bear. Unexpectedly good! Unbelievable thing was Kenz & Helena have their performance as well. Kenz walked in from the entrance, holding Helena sittng on his left shoulder along the red carpet up to the stage with their love story dance. That was so sweet and romantic! That night was wonderful and is the wedding dinner I'm looking forward ......one day(day dreaming again)!

Of course, everyone of us sure will bring their own cameras! This would be our dance group norm and cultural, catch every minute and the moment we got together. Here are some photos I have and try to bring you guys back some memories(Alright! I know. If compare to the other members I considered the least photos but hope it works to someone).

Hello~~! We are back together again!
Yo~yo~yo~CyberDance In Da House!
(Back: Wai Jiat, Ah Heng, Cherri, Ah Pie, Algie, Daphnie, Bear2, Naima, Saw Hua, Ming Yenn)
(Front: Bryant, Yinin, Snee, Alven, Francis, Teri)

Helena~the Queen of the night!

Kenz~the King of the night!

When the time hit 12.00 midnight, we all finally decided to take the way home.

We sure did have a great night and as always, made the deal to meet up again...... on next next coming Saturday.

Gathering is important as it's the only way to tight us all together, friendship forever and ever!

So meet you all again on the next gathering! Cya~~~!!

Lunch @ Shin-NiChi Japanese Buffet Restaurant

Today I'm on leave. Of course would not just lazy stay at home. So we decided to go out to town.
My beloved one brought me to a"quiet place" to have our meal some where around my brother's working place. Actually, it's just opposite the building. He said it's a japanese buffet which should satisfy my taste.
When we reached there, I found that building is so quiet and peaceful. Not like other building so buzy and hazzle.
Before reaching the restaurant, there is a pool of fish makes the place more relax and we could watch them when we passed over the walk path over the pool.

When we reached the entrance, thoese waitresses were so sincere shouting: Hirashaimase~~~!!One of them brought us to our table and serve us with gree tea(either cold or hot).

The restaurant interior design emphasises on spaciousness and simplicity, with simple wooden furniture placed loosely in the large, airy outlet. The ceiling-to-floor glasses brighten up the eatery with natural lighting, coupled with cherry red walls and chair cushions. They interestingly complement the image of a rising sun drawn on Shin-NiChi logo. The open kitchen also allows diners to see chefs in action while tucking into the spread.

Without wasting anytime, we started our "operation"! Don't know how to express the tasty and delicious food, especially the sashimi, teppanyaki......bla bla bla...... Hopefully, the photos will tell the delicious lunch we had.......Ittadakimasu~~!!!

Shashimi area

My favourite chuka lidako (baby octopus)

Fresh sashimi is the most I had

Wah~~~!!! So huge and so many!!!

Unagi which every one would not miss!

Scallops with any vegetables you want

The environment in this japanese buffet restaurant

Hhhmmm.....after two hours, operation has completed.

Next operation needs to get action-KEEP FIT (Wuaaaahhaahah~~~)

So if you want to savour the many types of Japanese food, ranging from sushi and sashimi, teriyaki, tempura to teppanyaki, buffet should be the most economical option.

Freshy fishy fishy in the pool!

想要趁早。。。。。 却被征服。。。。。

想想这人生的旅途中 却发现有很多的事情
想要趁早得到某事情 却被当时的某某征服
想做人难道那麽难吗 却为何有要求又不能
想要是因为有了追求 却被所谓的借口征服

想要趁早旅行看世界 却被“没有钱”征服
想要趁早去照顾健康 却被“没时间”征服
想要趁早把事情办好 却被所谓SOPP 征服
想要趁早的为所欲为 却被循规蹈矩去征服

想要趁早去达成梦想 却被现实和平凡征服
想要趁早知足和常乐 却被欲望和时代征服
想要趁早做个女强人 却被女人的心事征服
想要趁早喝醉去逃避 却被清醒和责任征服

想要做一个乐观的人 却被失败和天意征服
想要做一个悲观的人 却被“不甘愿”征服
想要是否乐观的思想 征服是否悲观的想法
想了偏偏会犹豫不决 最后却会两头不到岸

想了又想到底该怎样 不顾一切争取或放弃
想必只要相信和坚持 幸福一定会来到身边
想到姐妹们为我加油 感动在我的心底深处
感激你们就如背影似 守护着我依赖的心情

Happy Feet Taps Around The World

Oh! Ya! We did it!

My family and I watched this movie last night. The movie is stunning, hysterical, moving, and perfect. It was wonderful and humorous. The characters and settings were so detailed and rendered so well that it's easy to forget during close-ups that this is all animation. It was interesting to see Wolverine, Agent Smith, Kevin and Shellie (Sin City), and Man of the Year all as penguins.

As for voice-acting, everyone did well. I had no idea Wolverine could sing like that. Nicole Kidman, sounded extremely sexy, even as a penguin with a tatto on her breast. Brittany Murphy was spectacular! She sang better than anyone we call "musicians" today and she sounded sexier than Nicole Kidman's character. Elijah Wood singing ridiculously bad. His voice acting was medicore. Robin William did a wonderful job, both for Lovelace the Guru and the Amigo guy. I didn't know he could sing like that!

Let's talk about the story. In the great nation of Emperor Penguins, deep in Antarctica, you're nobody unless you can sing--which is unfortunate for Mumble (Elijah Wood), who is the worst singer in the world. Mumble has the voice of a puberty-stricken boy and is unable to keep a tune, but he can dance like the dickens! He is born dancing to his own tune--tap dancing. Though Mumble's mom, Norma Jean (Nicole Kidman), thinks this little habit is cute, his dad, Memphis (Hugh Jackman), says it “just ain't penguin.” Besides, they both know that, without a Heart Song, Mumble may never find true love.

As fate would have it, his one friend, Gloria (Brittany Murphy), happens to be the best singer around. Mumble and Gloria have a connection from the moment they hatch, but she struggles with his strange “hippity- hoppity” ways. Mumble is just too different--especially for Noah (Hugo Weaving) the Elder, the stern leader of Emperor Land, who ultimately casts him out of the community.

Away from home for the first time, Mumble meets a posse of decidedly un-Emperor-like penguins--the Adelie Amigos. Led by Ramon (Robin Williams), the Adelies instantly embrace Mumble's cool dance moves and invite him to party with them.

In Adelie Land, Mumble seeks the counsel of Lovelace (Robin Williams) the Guru, a crazy-feathered Rockhopper penguin who will answer any of life's questions for the price of a pebble. After toiling around a while with his new buddies, Mumble realizes his only chance at redemption is to find the source of the penguins' current fish famine--and he'll stop at nothing, not even "aliens.'' Together with Lovelace and the Amigos, Mumble sets out across vast landscapes and, after some epic encounters, proves that by being true to yourself, you can make all the difference in the world.

The main evolving themes were that society tends to neglect (or at worst banish) people who are physically disabled. We, as people, tend to bond together and unite to enjoy the fruits of life, but exclude the ones different from us. However, there were a lot of heart-capturing moments and the finale with all the penguins tap-dancing was nicely done.

There are a few things I realised after watching this animation:

• Don't look down on those people who are not ordinary as we are, just because they are different but they have special kind of gifts from god.
• Extra-ordinary people have great responsibles to hold (sounds like Spiderman movie...... hahah~But it's true!).
• Don't blame others when unfortunate things happen around you.
• Never give up to what you are truly believe and trust your faith.
• Care and save the environment not only for your children to have a better place to live, for all the livings as well!

搞些事 …

一早起身又不愿起身
回到公司又不愿做事
对着阿头不想做这做那
都是一样那些事
像副机器不想日做夜做 …呸呸呸
怎麽办 …该怎麽办呢？

越来越… haii 不想越来越… haiii
我是一条龙不是一条虫
不想只等车却买不起车
找些自己想要的
找姐妹喝杯热茶或咖啡 …废废废
我来想搞些事 …就是一些事情

出来喝些饮料 …
出来谈些八卦 …
出来齐想点子 …
出来想些是做 …

一世打工像什麽
不如做番新鲜事
想些事倾谈些事
搞些事不想叹息

大人做事合手做单大事
虽够勇气但口水不够多
唯有灌醉他人我也醉了
呕到大家拼命做出成绩
找林伯伯合钱去山顶发展 …飞飞飞
我问你该不该 …该不该这样啦

出来喝些饮料 …
出来谈些八卦 …
出来齐想点子 …
出来想些是做 …

喝到个身体倾斜
老友只会去开心
想些事倾谈些事
搞些事不想白过

Step Up......One......Two Step!

Last night ...... W.J., Hui and I purposely met up to watch this awesome movie.
The funny thing is we almost cannot made in time because W.J. went to wrong cinema.
Anyway, he found the right cinema at last. Hahaha~~!! Just joking W.J. Don't get angry!

Let's talk about this movie. Of course, everyone deserves a chance to follow their dreams, but some people only get one shot. Tyler Gage (Channing Tatum) is a rebel from the wrong side of Baltimore's tracks--and the only thing that stands between him and an unfulfilled life are his dreams of one day making it out of there. Nora (Jenna Dewan) is a privileged ballet dancer attending Baltimore's ultra-elite Maryland School of the Arts--and the only thing standing in the way of her obviously brilliant future is finding a great dance partner for her senior showcase. When trouble with the law lands Tyler with a community service gig at Maryland School of the Arts, he arrives as an angry outsider, until his skills as a gifted street dancer draw Nora's attention. Now, as sparks fly between them, both on and off stage, Tyler realizes he has just one performance to prove that he can step up to a life far larger than he ever imagined.

About Tyler, he is a troubled youth growing up in a foster home in a run-down and sketchy town. Tyler is the PG-13 version of gangster. He knocks over garbage cans, steals cars, and wears baggy clothes. And he's a dancer. After vandalizing the Maryland's School for Performaning Arts, Tyler is sentenced to two hundred hours of community service. Whilst performing his janitorial duties Tyler catches the eye of the ambitious and talented Nora.


Nora needs a new dance partner.
Maybe Tyler can fill in for her.
Maybe Nora will see Tyler for his talent, and for who he is instead of no-good street thug.

Maybe Nora and Tyler will start to fall in love.
Maybe Tyler just might be able to show Nora something new in life.
And maybe, just maybe,
Tyler might be able to help Nora out,
so that she can blow everybody away at the big show.

It might not be Dirty Dancing, but it definetly speaks loads about the urban hip-hop style dancing that is revolutionizing our generation. Jenna Dewan is an excellent addition to the cast and Channing Tatum works wonderfully aside her. Great story, great dancing, good acting.

If your a person all about story plots, then this probably isn't the movie for you. If you are a dancer, or someone that enjoys dancing, or even if you just love to watch it, then this is a must see. For all the girls out there, Yes! Channing is a hottie compare to the Movie: She's the Man. That's just another reason for me to go see it!

FINALLY......I FOUND......

Ever since I was a baby girl I had a dream
Cinderella theme
Crazy as it seems
Always knew that deep inside that there would come a day
When I would have to way make so many mistakes
I couldn't comprehend as I watched it unfold
This classic story told I left it in the cold
Walking through an open door that led me back to you
Each one unlocking more of the truth
I finally stopped tripping on my youth
I finally got lost inside of you
I finally know that I needed to grow
And finally my maze has been solved

Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though it will have a different set
Something strange and new is happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
Its the best that I've ever had
Give my love to him finally




























I remember the begining you already knew
I acted like a fool
Just trying to be cool
Fronting like it didn't matter I just ran away
On another face
Was lost in my own space
Found what its like to hurt selfishly scared to give of me
Afraid to just believe
I was in a jealous, insecure, pathetic place
Stumbled through the nets that I have made
Finally got out of my own way
I've Finally started living for today
I finally know that I needed to grow
And finally know that for sure

Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have a different set
Something strange and new is happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
Its the best that I've ever had
Gave my love to him Finally

Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though it will have a different set
Something beautiful is happening....... is happening
Finally
Now my life doesn't seem so bad
Give my love to him finally
Oh...... Finally......Finally......Finally......

人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺。

回薇姐的话：

看了你的分享，我也感受到 … 理解到你的心情。
因为我已经 …曾经面对了。
当然，这个过程并不好受。
然而，这是人生必经之路。

在陌生的环境，我们一起 …认识了 …
学习着 …烦恼过 …
埋怨着 …鼓励过 …
挣扎着 …放弃过 …
最终，他气馁了。
况且，他也决定。
选择，新的旅程。

要放手一个与你一起成长的伙伴，
是一时不能忍心去接受和面对的。
如不让他离开，觉得自己太自私。
如要让他离开，觉得自己太可怜。

其实，我们知道这一天是会有的。
可是，我们就有借口不愿去接受。

老话说得好：“天下没有不散之宴席。”
我们还是要学习：拿得起，放得下。
自立 …接受 … 包容 … 勇气 … 自信 …
我们能够 … 一定会胜利的… 一起加油吧！

P/S: Don't forget you still have us to share and cheers!

充足睡眠有助瘦身

据说，睡眠长短与身体质量指数(Body Mass Index，BMI)高低有著莫大的关系，睡眠时间愈少，BMI便会愈高，亦即愈肥胖。长期缺乏睡眠会大大影响体内负责产生饱肚感及饥饿感的两种荷尔蒙 (Leptin & Ghrelin) 的水平，失衡情况底下容易令缺乏睡眠者愈食愈多，快速引致肥胖。

致肥原因：

1. Leptin激素不足 … 愈吃愈多
2. 增加Ghrelin激素 … 时常有饥饿感
3. 熬夜影响新陈代谢

优质睡眠防暴饮暴食
拥有一个优质睡眠，不但令人精神奕奕，容光焕发，更好的是可以帮助减少食欲，从而收减肥瘦之效。

• 能于晚上九时至十一时入睡
• 一觉最少长达六小时，八小时为最理想

优质睡眠四大要诀：

1. 避免咖啡因，酒精或烟草
2. 营造舒适环境
3. 减少日间小睡
4. 固定作息时间

助眠食物一览

• 天然催眠色氨酸～能令人心情放松，减低神经活动从而产生睡意，是一种天然的安眠药。含色氨酸的食物：牛奶
• 维他命B稳定心神……花生，胡桃，绿叶蔬菜
• 钙，镁有助抗压 ……预防骨头疏松的问题；天然的放松剂和镇定剂 ……香蕉，芝士

俗语说：“早睡早起，精神好，又健康。” !(^o^)!

Just Naturally Is Wade Robson

Remember that cute white kid who could groove really well in Michael Jackson’s Black or White music video back in the 80s? He got you spellbound with his talent. Well, that little kid has blossomed into a handsome young man.
Wade started giving dance lessons at age 12.Lounging comfortably on a sofa, Wade Jeremy Robson’s cheeks are flushed from the tropical heat and he looks older than 24. But, when he speaks, his maturity is striking. You can tell he’s been around the block and achieved much.
“I danced before I walked, so movements are a huge part of me. I saw Michael Jackson’s Thriller music video when I was two and I copied all his moves. So, you could say he was my initial inspiration,” he tells StarWeekend in an exclusive interview.
The King of Pop himself invited Robson to perform with him on many occasions. Robson was five then! He went on to appear in Jackson’s Heal the World and Jam music videos. As to how he acquired his dance skills, Robson is equally perplexed, especially since he never took formal classes.
“My grandma was a line dancer but I just found that out. Aside from her, no one in my family danced or influenced me. I must have been a natural,” he reveals.
Born in Brisbane, Australia, Robson was already a member of a dance company as its specialty act when he was five. He did “his stuff” while the other professional dancers synchronised their steps with his moves. Basically, he choreographed and others followed.
Robson’s mum saw her youngest son’s potential. She moved to Los Angeles with him, then nine, and his sister Chantal. Like most emigrants, they wanted to pursue the American dream. His dad and older brother stayed Down Under. In LA, Robson developed his own act, which came to be known as hip hop.
He says, “I like the freedom hip hop offers. I don’t like to be told what to do or how to move.”
At 12, Robson had enough of performing and wanted to impart his skills. He began teaching dance at the Millennium Dance Complex in north Hollywood and became its biggest draw – a “rockstar” teacher. Students loved his new style, which was accompanied by original music.
Word got around about this boy wonder and before long, choreography offers poured in. You’ve probably seen his work at some point – he has choreographed for Britney Spears, NSYNC, Justin Timberlake, Mya, Pink and a host of other celebrities. He also directed and choreographed Spears’ Pepsi commercial when he was only 16. His career simply skyrocketed.
It takes him anywhere from one day to four days to complete a piece, depending on the concept. “For a regular class, my inspiration may come from the music and I’ll start moving. When it comes to full pieces, I like to have a blueprint to work on, then I let the music dictate. I love being able to create a concept and execute it,” he says.

Following the format of MTV’s The Wade Robson Project, contestants had to dance and Robson would give his comments (“I’m a nice guy, I’m not Simon Cowell”). Then Robson showed some dance moves, throwing terms like b-boy moves, popping ‘n’ locking. Finalists had to imitate his steps, using their own style.

There are two kinds of entertainers, Robson says. Those who are taught to be entertainers and can sometimes appear “over the top”; and those who exude passion, which is reflected in their movements.
He smiles coyly, “I hope I have a combination of both! When you have passion, you might have to wear your heart on your sleeve but your feelings come out in the dance.”
Robson feels the younger generation nowadays are not as consistent and are unwilling to explore different styles. He advises them to broaden their horizons and seek out new things. He formed his style from watching videos of Bob Fosse, the Nicholas Brothers, Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly.
“My style has evolved. I don’t know what to call it now. It’s an eclectic mix – a bit of hip hop mixed with theatre, Fosse and jazz. But I’m a perfectionist and am very critical of what I do. I always bash myself up. It’s never good enough . . . until I found love,” he suddenly beams, gazing lovingly at his Hawaiian wife Amanda, who is seated across.
Clearly, he is in awe of his lady (he calls her “my semi-Asian wife”) whom he met at a club a few years ago. The couple tied the knot last year.
He continues, “Love defined things for me. I got a life and took the spiritual road. I realised that it’s all part of the process. Amanda is my biggest critic. She knows me so well and if she thinks it’s not me, I then change the dance steps.”
Amanda designs all the costumes for Robson’s projects.
Like most young kids, Robson dreamt of being a superstar.
“Yeah, sure, I wanted to go down that path but after MTV, I didn’t want that fame anymore. I wasn’t sure if it was about me, the face, or it was about my work. I didn’t like that life – it was too artificial and I felt my work wasn’t being recognised. Here (Asia), people appreciate my work more and that’s encouraging.”
When the MTV series started, Robson was hounded by the paparazzi. That frightened him so after the season ended, he “disappeared” for two years to do other things. The series was subsequently discontinued.
He explains, “It was a mutual thing. They (MTV) didn’t want to continue and I wanted to move on to directing and choreographing so it ended well.”
Robson finds immense satisfaction in telling stories with his movements so he’s now developing an independent feature film on dance. He has also signed a three-picture deal with Disney as a director cum choreographer.
Does he have a signature move?
“No, I don’t want to leave a move that people can associate with. That would mean I only stayed with one thing and never explored beyond. I want others to think of me as someone who always wanted to explore and inspire people. That would be the legacy I’d leave behind,” he articulates.
Asked how his parents feel about his success, Robson shoots Amanda a glance as if seeking her approval.
“I went through a period . . .” he pauses. “They’re proud. Yeah, I think they’re proud. Life’s been a blessing so far but it’s just the beginning.” W.R.

回薇妹的话。。。

梦想成真
梦。。。
每一个人生活着一定会，一定要有梦。
如果没有梦，是不能坚持地生活下去。

想。。。
发梦就是让我们如何去思考未来的路。
越认真的去想，越让我们肯定了目标。

成。。。
要达成任何梦想，就应该去实践到底。
如果只发白日梦，那梦想就越飘越远。

真。。。
只要以相信，认真和坚持的强盛意念，
所有的梦想一定通过全力奋斗而实现。

幸福の信心

只要活着就会有担心，烦恼的事情。

就像太阳前面覆盖着云层那般。

不管表面如何，即使是下雨，刮风的日子，

太阳还是俨然地升起。

只要有“信心”的太阳在胸中闪耀，“幸福”也会闪耀着。

So long as we are alive we are bound to experience various fears an worries.

These are like clouds that block the light of the sun.

Regardless of appearances,the sun rises with the same majesty even when it is rainy or windy.

So long as the sun of faith in one's heart continues to blaze,one's life will shine with happiness.

Romance + Love = Marriage???

Just sharing something I read.

When you starting to find another partner, are you going to engage? Get marry? Why?

Lets find out!

Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A. a relationship coach who lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term marital success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr. /Miss. Right! If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone". You need a lot more!!! Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage.

(1) You can grow together, or

(2) you can grow apart.

50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line; and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing". So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:
How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc..

How do they treat their parents and siblings?

Do they have gratitude and appreciation?

If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them?
Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others! You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective...

There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you ...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye." Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time, his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn how to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you.

You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together. Neither one of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life" you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:

1. TRUST
2. HONEST COMMUNICATION
3. NON-SEXUAL INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING OF TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME, WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS, THOUGHTS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10. GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND RE-ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace the passion.

There it goes . . .
Success is nothing without someone meaningful to share it with....
HAVE A BLESSED DAY!

Kenosha Hobson, Ph.D.

University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine

Department of Molecular Genetics and Biochemistry